I am Jess, an 18-year-old Ottawa [Canada] native, university student, theatre geek, music-book-movie appreciator and amateur baker, with a longing to travel, far too many clothes and a love for Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Contact me via jessasart[at]gmail[dot]comTumblr (3.0; @lifeasart)http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/We have to be out of our apartment by the 20th of August. <br/>That is literally a week away.<br/>I have $800 in my bank account, and won’t be getting any more until my student loan comes in mid-September.<br/>Although I should have expected it, my bastard of a Father will not be helping me. Although he still may pay whats left of my tuition post-scholarship.<br/>This would help alot in the long run, but not so much in the short term.<br/>I may have found a place to move into in September; a room in a five bedroom house. All inclusive. $389 + $10 for internet. <br/>This will leave me with $25 a month in income. Literally. And I still need to pay for my cellphone. Although not a bus pass.<br/>And it might be nice to eat every so often. <br/>I feel like, at 18, I am dealing with stuff way beyond me. Or any age, for that matter. <br/>The rest of my family (a mom, a step dad, a sister, a dog, two cats and five rats) still have no where to go. Literally. And my sister is supposed to start college in September.<br/>This isn’t the first time we’ve got through this whole breadwinner looses his job/move out routine. It doesn’t get any funnier. Or easier.<br/>I keep thinking that oh… I could find a job, right? But I’m going to university, full time, for the first time, and also living on my own. The thought of juggling a job scares me shitless, but I know it has been done and can be done.<br/>I feel utterly alone.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45733986http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45733986Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:49:27 -0500I feel like God just smacked me in the face while Jesus was roundhousing-kicking me in the kidneys.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45722000http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45722000Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:35:00 -0500And I thought I was exhausted on Sunday!<br/>Everything seemed like it was going to be okay- sure, my mom’s hand was hurt but she was eating and talking. Then, yesterday morning, she started vomiting and we headed back to the hospital for a seven-hour marathon. They figure it was just a bad reaction to the pain medication/anti-biotics. Now she’s on IV antibiotics, home, relaxed and hopefully feeling better. I still have dinner to make, laundry to do, and groceries to somehow magically get. We’re still trying to figure out whether we are going to have to find a new place to live in oh… two weeks. I can’t believe they won’t take pity on us when they see my Mom with an IV stuck in her arm and her other arm in bandages, but sometimes thats the way the world works. For now, I am going to take a much needed nap while someone else worries.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45698797http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45698797Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:50:18 -0500“Youth ages. Immaturity is outgrown. Ignorance can be educated and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.”<br/><br/> - <em>Aristophanes</em>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45605410http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45605410Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:54:42 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vci2ktt4Z9CaUD3o_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>This is my moms hand. This is also the reason I spent the whole day at the hospital.<br/>My family absolutely loves dogs. But we’re also very careful. After allowing a previously friendly dog to sniff her hand the dog suddenly bit her. <br/>I am absolutely physically drained. I am typicall the person who goes to the hospital with my mom. My step dad is terrible with pain and blood and that stuff, and if they left me at home I would be a bundle of nerves. I can only remember one other time that I felt my Mothers own mortality. But it seemed so real to me today. My Mother is my best friend. And no, I don’t just say that. We might have our disagreements but this woman absolutely gave her life to make sure my sister and I had as good a upbringing as possible. And today, even though she was only bit by a dog, I honestly thought she was going to die.<br/>Obviously, she didn’t die, and she’s fine… Doped up on what she affectionately calls “the drug of the stars” (eg: oxycotin).http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45480669http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45480669Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:28:30 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vcgiab2mjBStqDrm_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p class="MsoNormal"><b>I’m tired, but proud.<br/><i>Norman Rockwell</i></b></p>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45365402http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45365402Sat, 09 Aug 2008 20:12:40 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vcg9nb8eXFcJIGRc_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Yummy Breakfast for Dinner*.</p> <p>*That is Canadian Bacon. Also known as Peameal Bacon. Double yummy and also better for you than regular bacon.</p>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45347462http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45347462Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:10:50 -0500<p><a href="http://pica.tumblr.com/post/45336865/batshit-crazy" target="_blank">pica</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>My mother makes me batshit crazy.</p> <p>That is all.</p> </blockquote>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45339311http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45339311Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:04:31 -0500“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you’ll start missing everybody.”<br/><br/> - <em>J.D. Salinger, <i>Catcher in the Rye</i></em>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45276544http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45276544Fri, 08 Aug 2008 22:47:21 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vcf1k1391xTTHtPb_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>Lisette Modelhttp://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45262517http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45262517Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:36:34 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/wwS4C6Dkmcdk8de5g7YX615u_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://pterodactyls.tumblr.com/post/45130013/did-i-ever-show-this-to-you-guys-its-on-my" target="_blank">pterodactyls</a>:</p> <blockquote>Did I ever show this to you guys? It’s on my shoulder. You may recognise it from <a href="http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j298/rootbeerfizz/824220d5.jpg" target="_blank">this</a>.</blockquote> <p>What an amazing tattoo. Now I have to resist the urge to copy…</p>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45130068http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45130068Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:45:10 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vccduomqFGxAjg7Y_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>OMG! Its ZACH-freaking-MORRIS. Even the Bell won’t save him from that hair. Which I’m pretty sure was last seen on Dawson from the Creek.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45021165http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45021165Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:57:00 -0500<p>Ah, remember the back streets of Naples, <br/> Two children begging in rags<br/> Both touched with a burning ambition <br/> To shake off their lowly-born tags, so they try.<br/><br/> So look into my face Marie-Claire <br/> And remember just who you are.<br/> Then go and forget me forever<br/> But I know you still bear the scar deep inside, yes, you do.<br/><br/> Ah, I know where you go to my lovely… <br/> When you’re alone in your bed.<br/> I know the thoughts that surround you, <br/> Cause I can look inside your head</p> <p>-<i>Peter Sarstedt</i></p>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45019317http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45019317Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:37:31 -0500I’m sitting here eating cold lasagna. In my underwear. And watching House. At 11:30 at night. I just got back in from rehearsal. I need to cut down on the sweet’n’low and diet soda because I think its fueling my insanity. I’ve been pretty lame lately. I know I’ve had alot on my mind. Sometimes it feels like you can’t catch a break. In addition to everything else thats going on, we may have to move at the end of the month, just when I’m supposed to go back to school. When my mom told me it absolutely scared me shitless. And I can’t get it off my mind. Moving out just isn’t an option, although part of me thinks it would make things easier for my family, and maybe me too. Enough moaning.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45019135http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/45019135Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:34:29 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vcbq9uar6AphLVI2_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44959598http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44959598Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:57:25 -0500“It’s sad to say goodbye to someone who had become a part of your life. It’s hard to admit that the moments you’ve shared had lost its meaning, how change affected the good memories of the past. You’ll just stare at them walking away from your life and taking a part of you with them.”<br/><br/> - <em> me on goodbyes and people changing (via <a href="http://thresca.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">thresca</a>)</em>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44612196http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44612196Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:22:21 -0500“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re never really awake.”<br/><br/> - <em>Fight Club</em>http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44612104http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44612104Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:21:34 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vc7w3y6oEd8qVbq8_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>I don’t know what I’ve done<br/> Or if I like what I’ve begun<br/> But something told me to run<br/> And honey, you know me <br/> It’s all, or none <br/> There were sounds in my head<br/> A little voice is whispering <br/> That I should go, and this should end<br/> But then I found myself listeninghttp://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44597711http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44597711Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:29:43 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vc7uqvfonJxmXZxl_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>Dinner… and that was after it was half devoured by the boys. No silly “disco fries” here- just the good old frites, cheese curds and gravy.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44595099http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44595099Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:51:00 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/96PAFXP8vc7up0kyaik0pFWj_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>Today I spent the day with some old friends, and some new ones. We were going to go see flugtag but instead ended up at the beach with a heafty “family sized” portion of authentic Alymer poutine for dinner. Justin even gave me a piggy back ride when my feet got sore.http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44594973http://lifeasart.tumblr.com/post/44594973Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:50:06 -0500